


Five Times That Peter & Jared Did It The Old Fashioned Way

by vic_amy_z



Category: Franklin & Bash
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-18
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 18:45:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/690237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vic_amy_z/pseuds/vic_amy_z
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter and Jared have shared a lot of experiences, some of them quite frustrating. These are just five of them...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times That Peter & Jared Did It The Old Fashioned Way

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the concept behind May's 'Merry Month of Masturbation'. WARNING - Masturbation (obviously!) and slight underage shenanigans!

**When it was easier not to talk about it...**

Peter turned the page almost reverently; partly because they were getting their first glimpse at bits of women that they had most definitely never seen before, and partly because the magazine had to be smuggled back into Chris Tate's locker on Monday morning, in exactly the same condition that Peter had stolen it in. Otherwise, Peter would be picking his teeth up off the floor.

They were lying side by side on Peter's bed; Jared had the pillow shoved under his chest to prop himself up and make room for the copy of Penthouse. Peter's mom had sent them to bed over an hour ago, and they'd waited until the Bash household was practically silent before they'd risked turning on Peter's bedside lamp and carefully retrieving the magazine from under his mattress. Now they were examining its contents in great detail, hushed giggles and low utterances of admiration being the only sounds they'd made so far.

When he heard the knock on the door, Jared was pretty sure that he was about to be the first fourteen year old to die of a heart attack.

'You two had better be in bed,' came Colleen's voice from the other side of the door.

'We are, mom!' Peter called back, frantically shoving the magazine down the back of his bed. And it wasn't like he was lying - they _were_ in bed. She didn't need to know that it was the same one.

'Wanna tell me why you've still got your light on in there?' she asked.

'Shit!' Jared whispered, realising that in their haste they'd forgotten to roll up Peter's dressing gown and put it along the bottom of the door to block out the light, like they usually did.

'Um, we're still reading, mom!' Peter replied. Again, _technically_ not a lie, although Jared thought that he'd be hard pushed to remember any words from the page they were just looking at, apart from _'Mitzi'_ and possibly _'DDs'_.

'Okay, well you better be done _'reading'_ in the next half an hour, or I'll be coming in to find out what's fascinating enough to have you both awake at gone midnight.' Jared could hear the smile in Colleen's voice, and he knew that she wasn't serious. At least he hoped she wasn't. 

She might embarrass Peter, but Jared thought Colleen was awesome. She never seemed to mind that Jared spent more time at Peter's than he did at his own house, and she respected their privacy enough not to come in, as well as giving them an extension on 'lights out'. Jared couldn't remember the last time anyone in his family had bothered to knock on his door before barging in.

They waited, frozen in anticipation, until they heard Colleen's bedroom door close quietly at the end of the hallway. Then they let out deep breaths, giggling and shushing each other as Peter retrieved the magazine and carefully smoothed it out. It didn't look any the worse for its brief trip down the back of Peter's bed, so Jared thought that his best friend's teeth were probably safe.

Jared studied the pages of Penthouse, each one adorned with women who might be just as unattainable as any of the girls at his school, but who at least looked like they wouldn't complain if you tried to touch their boobs in a movie theatre. In fact, they'd probably insist on it. After a couple of minutes of more or less silent appreciation, Jared couldn't help musing out loud, 'It would be so cool to show up to prom with someone who looked like her.'

'Yeah...' Peter breathed, clearly lost in his own fantasy. Then he added with a grin, 'Like you could get someone who looked like her!'

'Oh, and you could, I suppose?' Jared retorted, grinning back.

'Sure I could, chicks love me!' Peter finished. Jared had to bury his face into the pillow to muffle his laughter and Peter elbowed him in the ribs with an indignant, 'Hey!' 

Jared half-heartedly fought back, kicking at Peter's legs until Peter threw an arm across Jared's shoulders and a leg across the back of Jared's thighs, effectively pinning him down so he could dig his fingers into Jared's ribs, making him squirm as he tried so hard not to make any noise that would bring Colleen back down the hallway. Eventually, he mumbled something along the lines of, 'Get off, asshole...' into the pillow, and Peter let him go with a smug grin.

They settled down again to the important task in hand - namely trying to memorise every page of the magazine before they were forced to return it. Peter skipped a page of text that patently neither of them were going to read, and turned over to an image that was more explicit than any they'd seen so far. Jared could feel the heat rising on his cheeks as he shifted uncomfortably on the bed.

'Besides, I've been practicing,' Peter told him, breaking the awkward silence. He said it in the same way he might have talked about football practice, only Jared had a feeling that that wasn't the kind of practice he was talking about, because Peter was staring straight ahead and definitely not looking at Jared.

'Huh? Practicing what?'

'Y'know, lasting longer. Like... when you jerk off,' Peter said, as though it should have been obvious, but still not looking at Jared. 'Girls don't like it if you come too fast,' he added knowledgeably. 

The last part was said with all the confidence of someone who'd never got past second base. Not that Jared could really call him on it, having barely gotten to first with Mandy Fisher from the debate team, and that was only once so it hardly counted. Instead, Jared just nodded like it made sense, and tried not to think about why the image of Peter jerking off was even in his head, let alone why it was making him even harder than the picture that was spread out on the bed. 

For a minute or so, there was silence between them again, but Jared was very aware of the sound of their breathing. He was also aware of how close he was lying to Peter, the almost unbearable heat against his skin, and the fact that he might feasibly drill a hole in the mattress before too much longer! Jared felt like he just needed a minute away from Peter to get himself together again, to clear his head and stop the myriad of confusing images that were currently crowding into his brain, threatening to overwhelm him and making him feel like he was going to... Oh shit!

Jared bolted for the door, blurting out something that he was fairly sure had the word _'bathroom'_ in it, but he wasn't certain. He managed to shut the bathroom door and turn the key in the lock, barely getting a hand on himself before he was coming hard and fast, a stifled moan escaping that sounded much too loud in the silence of the sleeping house.

Jared leaned against the wall and let his head fall back against the cool tile, the flush on his skin more down to embarrassment than exertion. He certainly wouldn't be impressing any girls with that performance. He cleaned himself up, taking a moment to look in the mirror above the sink, then quietly running the cold tap so he could splash some water on his face. Carefully, Jared tiptoed along the hallway and crept back in to Peter's room. The lamp had been switched off and the dim light from the hallway spilled into the darkness. 

'Thought we should get to sleep before my mom decides to pay us another visit,' Peter whispered from the shadows. He was under the covers now, the magazine out of sight.

'Yeah, good idea,' Jared whispered back. 'I'll just...' He closed the door behind him, giving his eyes a few seconds to adjust before climbing into the sleeping bag that was laid out by the side of Peter's bed.

Jared lay on his back in the darkness, still too wired to sleep. They usually stayed awake talking until the small hours of the morning, even when Peter's mom had made them turn out the light and get into bed. Tonight, they were both completely silent. Eventually, Jared turned onto his side and hoped that sleep would come soon.

'Jared?' Peter's voice in the darkness made him jump a little.

'Yeah?'

There was a long pause, like Peter was about to start a million different sentences but never quite got there. 'Night...' he said finally.

'Night, Peter...' Jared replied, closing his eyes.

**~~~~~~~~**

**When they had no other choice...**

Jared kicked open the door to his dorm room, trudged inside and kicked it shut again. Then he threw himself face down on his bed with a groan.

'Your date went well then?' Peter observed dryly from the other side of the room, where he was lying in bed reading a Sociology textbook. Or at least pretending to. Jared just groaned again. Peter knew all about Lauren and how she wanted to _'take things slow'_ \- and how much it was killing Jared - so he ignored the fact that his best friend was just trying to wind him up. Like he could possibly get wound-up any further right now! 

Jared had been seeing Lauren for about two months, and in that entire time, the closest he'd come to any kind of action was when he'd accidentally brushed a hand over her breast as he'd reached for popcorn during some terminal art-house crap she'd dragged him to. Convinced that he'd done it on purpose and was trying to push her into a more physical relationship, she'd left the film with her roommate, so there was no more touching - accidental or otherwise - for Jared that night. And no more popcorn, either...

'If you'd agreed to dump Lauren and date Steph like I suggested, you wouldn't be in this situation,' Peter chided with a grin.

'No, I'd be down at the clinic getting tested for the clap, like every other guy she's ever dated,' Jared shot back, slightly muffled because he was still lying face down on his bed. Steph was a friend of Amber, who Peter was seeing, on and off. Both of them were pretty well known around campus, and that was putting it politely.

'Whatever, dude,' Peter laughed, 'At least I'm getting laid!'

'Fuck off!'

'Come on, Jared. Insults are for losers, you know that,' Peter chided in mock condescension. 

Jared mumbled, 'You're not funny' into his pillow as he turned over and groaned, curling himself into a ball. After nearly two hours of making out on Lauren's bed, Jared was left with nothing but a dull ache in the pit of his stomach and an overwhelming sense of frustration.

Peter unceremoniously dumped his textbook onto the floor by the side of the bed and went to switch off his lamp but paused for a second. 'You want me to stick on some music?' he asked, with a knowing look in Jared's direction.

The question wasn't as strange as it might have sounded to the casual observer. As happy as Peter and Jared were to be sharing a room now they were at college, they realised pretty quickly that it meant privacy was at a premium. Fed up with having to keep sneaking off to the bathroom, they'd come up with a system where, if one of them needed some _'alone time'_ , the other one would put on some headphones, crank the volume on the CD player and a little virtual privacy was created.

Jared looked over at Peter from his foetal position on the bed. 'If I said _'yes'_ , would you judge me?' he asked with a wry smile. 

'Only for your poor dating choices,' Peter replied, reaching for the headphones.

Jared rolled off the bed and onto his feet. He pulled his t-shirt off over his head and Peter whistled appreciatively. Jared shot him a look that told him he still wasn't funny before throwing his t-shirt towards the floor in front of the closet, which was where the majority of their dirty laundry lived. When he started to unbutton his jeans, he looked pointedly at Peter, waiting for him to make another comment, but Peter just looked innocently back at him, arms behind his head, as though the thought would never cross his mind. Satisfied, Jared bent forward and dropped his jeans, which was when Peter decided to call out, 'Yeah, baby! That's it! Take it off!'

Peter was laughing hysterically as Jared took off his jeans and threw them at Peter's head with an embarrassed, 'Dude! Shut the fuck up!'

'Yeah, like half the dorm don't already think we're fucking each other!' Peter said, still chuckling as he dumped the jeans onto their ever-growing laundry pile.

'And you wanna try and convince the other half?' Jared laughed.

'If you were dating me you wouldn't need to come home and jerk off,' Peter grinned, checking there was a CD in the Discman and untangling the headphones. 'That's all I'm saying...'

'I am not about to date you, Peter Bash. No matter how desperate I am to get laid.' Jared smiled at his best friend and climbed into bed, switching off the lamp and plunging the room into darkness.

'True,' Peter said, turning over under the sheets. 'I'm way out of your league...'

Jared thought Peter was lucky that he'd run out of things to throw. He stretched out under the covers for a second and then wriggled out of his boxers, dumping them on the floor beside the bed so they'd be within easy reach in the morning. It was true that Jared wasn't quite as free and easy with his nakedness as Peter, who'd streaked the entire length of their dorm's corridor last week on a dare. Then again, Jared cheering him on and engaging in an enthusiastic post-streak celebratory hug probably wasn't doing a lot to persuade people that they weren't sleeping together either.

He realised that he should probably get any thoughts of naked Peter out of his head, given that he already had a hand on his dick. He started to think about Lauren, but as he felt like the chances of actually being allowed to sleep with her were getting smaller by the day, that wasn't really working for him. Settling on a fantasy that was entirely fictional, Jared worked his hand slowly up and down. The beauty of his and Peter's system was that there was never any rush; your roommate got to be entertained by some of rock's finest and you got to take your time. However, if Peter didn't at least get a couple of Van Halen tracks in before Jared was done, he'd never hear the end of it. 

Jared let out a long, slow breath, allowing the fantasy woman in his head to start showing him some of her many and varied talents. He tightened his grip, stroking his cock a little faster as he imagined her hands and mouth on him. Jared sucked in a breath as he rubbed his thumb over the head, working himself harder and faster, knowing that he couldn't hold on for much longer.

As his fantasy woman was reaching the high point of her display of prowess, Jared groaned rather louder than he intended. He froze for a second, which was when he realised he could no longer hear the tinny sound of rock music leaking from cheap headphones. What he _could_ hear was movement and heavy breathing from Peter's side of the room.

'Peter?' Jared said without thinking.

'Yeah?' he replied, just as carelessly.

'Um...' Jared didn't quite know how to phrase a question that basically boiled down to, _'Dude, are you jerking off over there?'_

'Sorry,' Peter cut in, 'The batteries died. I figured that hunting around for new ones might have killed the mood a bit.'

'But joining in seemed like a good idea?' Jared asked, genuinely curious. And slightly amused too. He realised that although he's slowed the movement of his hand a little, he hadn't stopped entirely. Clearly the thought of Peter joining in wasn't exactly throwing him off his stride.

'Sorry,' Peter said again. 'Is it too weird? 'Cause I can stick my head under the pillow and sing _'Mary Had A Little Lamb'_ if it is?'

Jared thought about it for a second and then laughed out loud. 'Dude, I am _not_ getting off to you singing nursery rhymes! Not without being scarred for life, anyway...'

'So...?' Peter's question was sort of obvious, even if it went unsaid.

'So,' Jared paused for a second, 'I'll race you to the finish,' he said finally, with a huge grin that Peter would be able to hear, even if he couldn't see.

'Dude, if you think that finishing quickly is the object, no wonder you're not getting laid!' But Jared knew that Peter would try to beat him anyway, because Peter always loved a challenge, however twisted it was.

Jared stroked himself hard and fast, his grip almost verging on too tight, the most erotic images he could conjure flicking through his mind one after the other, like a perverse Rolodex. And if there were one or two of Peter in there? Well, Jared just put that down to the fact that he could hear his best friend moaning softly on the other side of the room, desperately working himself towards his own orgasm, the erotic soundtrack putting strange thoughts into Jared's head. 

When he came, Jared was only a few seconds ahead of Peter, but it was still a win.

Jared used his boxers to wipe over his stomach, too tired to get up and do anything more sanitary, and just hoping that he'd remember in the morning before he attempted to pull them on again. He could barely keep his eyes open, so Jared was only half listening when he heard Peter say something about a rematch.

'Huh? Wha...?'

'A rematch. Y'know, so I can defend my honour?'

Jared yawned and settled down against the pillow. 'Thought this was a match you didn't want to win?' he said, smiling to himself.

'I always want to win. That's why we're going to make awesome lawyers.'

Jared thought for a second. 'Nah, I think I'm going to retire as undefeated champion,' he said with a chuckle.

'Asshole!' Peter said sleepily.

'Come on, Peter. Insults are for losers, you know that. '

Jared was only half-awake by the time Peter's pillow hit him...

**~~~~~~~~**

**When Jared needed a helping hand...**

Like so many bad ideas in Jared's life, it had started with alcohol... 

Friday night, they went out with a few people after work, choosing to hit a couple of bars for a change instead of heading back to the Cave. Peter bet Jared that he'd be too much of a pussy to order a Pink Love-Bomb - a garish, sherbet-coloured, monstrosity of a cocktail, that basically came served in a goldfish bowl, with pieces of tropical fruit, bendy straws, glittery stirrers and a sparkler - and to sit and drink it. Jared went one better, promising Peter that he'd drink them all night if Peter agreed to carry him out of the bar _'An Officer And A Gentleman'_ style.

Peter practically choked on his beer from laughing so hard, but agreed to the terms. Which Jared felt was just as well, because after three Pink Love-Bombs he didn't think he'd be able to walk without some assistance anyway.

About halfway through Jared's fourth cocktail, Peter remembered that he'd gone and left some files at the office that they were going to need over the weekend, so reluctantly Jared agreed to go back to Infeld Daniels with him to pick them up. Stumbling a little, he reminded Peter that he still owed him a lift out of the bar. 

Actually, Jared only agreed to go back to the Infeld Daniels _building_ , not up to their office, preferring instead to stay in the lobby and try to beat his personal best at _'Running Up The Down Escalator'_. After six attempts and not making it to the top once, Jared decided that maybe he should try an event where he was actually going in the same direction as the stairs, and promptly invented _'Escalator Handrail Surfing'_. 

In his defence, it had been going quite well until he'd got cocky about halfway down and tried to stand upright instead of staying crouched low. Jared toppled spectacularly off the side of the handrail, landing on the steps on the other side and rolling down them to land on the lobby floor in a heap, an intense pain shooting through his right arm.

By the time Peter returned from their office, files in hand, the night security guard had already found Jared and called an ambulance. Jared was sitting on the steps holding his arm weakly across his body; his skin felt cold and clammy, but he guessed that was probably just shock. As soon as he saw Jared, Peter rushed to his side, a hundred and one questions about what had happened and was he okay, all being fired at him at once. Jared was still trying to formulate a coherent answer when the security guard pulled Peter to one side. He heard them talking in hushed tones; Jared managed to pick out the occasional word but mostly he just sat there in a haze of pain. A fierce battle between alcohol and endorphins was raging inside him, making him feel sick and dizzy.

Jared didn't really remember too much about the rest of the night; Peter went with him to the emergency room and mercifully dealt with all the forms that people kept thrusting at him. Then he just sat with him, one arm around Jared's chair, his hand gently stroking the back of Jared's neck, while they waited for what felt like an eternity, pain pulsing through Jared's body like a sickening heartbeat. 

Eventually Jared was led into a cubicle, where he was looked at, talked to, prodded, poked, x-rayed and generally made to feel like a child before they gave him something for the pain - and it wasn't even a good something, because of the amount of alcohol he'd drunk. A fact that they explained to him repeatedly. Finally, when Jared was so exhausted he could barely keep his eyes open, despite the pain, they diagnosed a fractured wrist and slight concussion, both of which meant he would need to be kept in so they moved him into a private room. Jared was just about to ask where Peter was going to sleep, when he realised that the nurse was telling Peter to go home, something about not being able to set his wrist until the alcohol was out of his system because they needed to give him anaesthetic. Jared knew that to everyone else, leaving him on his own for the night would seem perfectly normal, so he tried not to make too much of a fuss when Peter ran a hand distractedly through Jared's hair and promised that he'd be back first thing in the morning. Then Jared closed his eyes and waited for the pain to go away. He waited a long time. 

The next morning he was sitting up in bed feeling like road kill - which wasn't surprising considering that he'd already been given anaesthetic, had bones wrestled back into place and then liberally coated in plaster, and it wasn't even lunchtime - when Peter stuck his head 'round the door. Jared felt his face split into a grin, not even caring how pathetically pleased he was to see his best friend.

Peter sidled in through the door, looking nervously behind him. 'Had to slip past the nurse,' he said, by way of explanation, 'She tried to tell me that I couldn't come in until visiting time, and that's hours away.' Jared grinned even harder. 'How're you feeling, buddy?'

'Like an idiot,' Jared sighed. 'An idiot with a fractured wrist and a stinking hangover that may well kill me,' he added.

Peter pulled up a chair and sat down. 'I brought you a present,' he said sympathetically, handing over the gift bag that was in his hand.

Jared took it with his good hand and peered cautiously inside. 'Aww, you brought me porn!' he felt oddly touched by Peter's thoughtfulness.

Peter just shrugged and said with a grin, 'Hey, anyone can bring a fruit basket.'

'Speaking of,' Jared replied, 'This arrived from Infeld this morning,' he indicated the large fruit basket at the side of his bed. 'Um, how the hell does he know where I am?'

'He's Infeld - he knows everything,' Peter said, simply. 'There was already a message on the answering machine when I got home last night...'

Jared took a deep breath. 'Okay, how pissed is he?' he asked, knowing that it'd be several weeks before he'd be back at work again.

'Come on, this is Stanton - he just wanted to make sure you were okay and to say that the CCTV footage gave him the best laugh he's had in ages!'

Jared groaned in embarrassment. 'Seriously though, that was it?'

'Well, there were a few other bits - something about Thailand, a deck of cards and a weasel, you know Stanton,' Jared grinned, knowing that Peter probably wasn't even exaggerating. 'Oh, and he said that if you promise not to sue the owners of the building, he'll promise not to replay the CCTV footage at the next partners' meeting. As your attorney, I recommend you take that deal.'

Just then, a nurse came into Jared's room, her eyes immediately settling on Peter. 'Mr Bash, did I not ask you to leave on no fewer than four occasions already this morning?' she asked, tersely. 

'He's here to pick me up,' Jared responded quickly, reaching out and grabbing hold of Peter's hand. The drugs were wearing off again and he felt like shit; he really didn't think he could handle it if they took Peter away from him too.

'You haven't been cleared for discharge yet, Mr Franklin.'

'I know, I'm discharging myself.' Peter shot him a look but Jared continued, 'I'll be fine. I just want to go home.'

In less than half an hour, Peter had the discharge forms signed, Jared dressed in a clean change of clothes, and was loading him carefully into the Prius. When they pulled up outside the Man Cave, Jared got out and started walking slowly towards the door.

'And where d'you think you're going?' Peter asked him. He was standing on the sidewalk regarding Jared with amusement, his hands on his hips.

Jared stopped and turned around to look at Peter. 'Um, inside?' He looked towards the Cave and then back at Peter. 'We do still live here, right?'

Without saying anything, Peter came up to him and swiftly wrapped an arm around Jared's back before scooping the other under his knees, until he had no choice but to put his good arm around Peter's neck and let himself be carried inside.

'You do realise that you're a complete dick for doing this to me when I'm sober, right?'

'A bet's a bet, Jared...' Peter replied, only struggling slightly with the door before a bemused Carmen let them in and Peter took Jared all the way into his bedroom. Jared had to concede that there were probably worse ways to travel...

By mid afternoon, he was bored senseless. Peter had insisted that Jared had to stay in bed, despite his frequent protestations that he was well enough to at least lie on the couch. He tried leafing through Peter's gift again, but the pages refused to turn properly when he just used his left hand, and any movement in his other wrist hurt like hell. Which ruled out most of his favourite activities for when he was alone. He grabbed the magazine and threw it at the door in frustration.

When Peter came in a few minutes later, he calmly picked it up again. 'Now, is that any way to treat good porn?' he said reproachfully, placing the magazine on top of a chest of drawers.

'Go away...' Jared mumbled. He was determined to feel sorry for himself; Peter had no right to just come in and be all reasonable about everything.

'So it's not the porn that's upset you then...?'

'It's the fact that I can't exactly appreciate it at the moment.' Peter looked slightly confused. 'I'm right-handed, Peter,' Jared continued, 'And apparently, I suck at being ambidextrous...' Jared could see a smile starting to form on Peter's lips as he got what Jared meant. 'Fuck off! It's not funny,' Jared told him crossly.

Instinctively, he curled onto his side, away from Peter. In that split second, Jared forgot that he had a fractured wrist, but as the weight of his body rolled onto it and searing agony shot through his arm, he soon remembered. Jared let out a strangled scream, rolling onto his back as fast as he could, but the damage was already done. The pain continued to pulse through his body; Jared had his eyes screwed tightly shut, as if he could somehow block it out, tears still escaping no matter how hard he tried to control them. 

And then Peter was sitting on the side of the bed, saying something to him. Jared tried hard to focus on the words. 'The doctor gave me these this morning,' Peter was saying, shaking a couple of small, white pills out of a bottle and into the palm of his hand. 'He told me you could have one if the pain got really bad. Is that now?'

Jared nodded weakly, his head still throbbing with pain. Helping him sit up, Peter pushed one of the pills into Jared's mouth and held a glass of water to his lips so he could swallow it. He wasn't expecting it to do much, given the kind of drugs they'd let him have so far, but he guessed it might take the edge off. Besides, it was nice to have someone want to take care of him. He lay back against the pillows, moving across a little to make more room for Peter, and waited for the pill to take effect.

Ten minutes later, Jared was flying...

He was aware that Peter was looking at him and smiling. And that he really didn't care. The world had taken on a soft, fuzzy feel, and Jared couldn't help but smile back.

'Dude, you are so stoned,' Peter said, laughing.

''M not,' Jared replied, still smiling.

'Okay, whatever you say,' Peter told him, a look of amusement still on his face. 'Why don't you try and get some sleep?' He reached over and brushed a hand lightly across Jared's forehead, and Jared literally stopped breathing for a few seconds. Something must have registered on his face, because Peter quickly asked him, 'Are you okay?'

'Do that again...' Jared said, still barely breathing.

'Do what?' The look of confusion on Peter's face made him stop smiling for a second, which Jared decided he didn't like. Peter should always be smiling.

'Touch me...' he said, not even caring how ridiculous it sounded. Peter stared at Jared for a few seconds, as if he might somehow have misunderstood what Jared meant. Then he reached out and gently stroked his thumb across Jared's forehead again. Jared sucked in a breath and closed his eyes at the contact. After a few seconds he said, slightly unsteadily, 'Okay, so this might be the drugs talking, but you have no idea how incredible that feels...'

Jared expected Peter to laugh at him; to tell him that he must be seriously out of it, or maybe that he should just get some rest, but when Jared opened his eyes again, Peter hadn't moved. And he was smiling again. Instead of telling him any of those things, Peter reached out and stroked his thumb down Jared's cheek, letting his hand trail across Jared's neck and onto his chest, resting the flat of his palm against Jared's t-shirt, its warmth seeping through to his skin.

'Are you being a tease, Peter Bash?' Jared said, trying to inject some seriousness into his tone. Which was sort of difficult when you couldn't stop grinning.

'I can stop if you like?' Peter said gently, grinning back, but Jared shook his head.

He had no idea how long Peter spent touching him; trailing his fingers across Jared's skin, painting fiery trails of colour that only Jared could see, even with his eyes closed. Every touch felt like Peter was sweeping fire and ice over his body; a thousand sparks that left a chill in their wake. He could feel Peter's hands everywhere and nowhere, all at the same time; just touching the bits of Jared that were uncovered at first, but eventually working their way under the covers, under his t-shirt, stroking parts of his body that Jared was pretty sure Peter had never touched before, in a way that _no one_ had ever touched him before. And it was all Jared could do not to moan and push himself into to Peter's hands, desperate for more contact.

When Peter kissed him, Jared thought he might actually die...

At first, it was just a gentle brush of Peter's lips against his face. Jared's eyes flew open, shocked. He found himself staring straight at Peter, who was looking a lot like someone who'd just been caught doing something they shouldn't.

'Sorry, I didn't...'

Jared knew he couldn't listen to Peter tell him that he was sorry for doing something that suddenly seemed to make all the sense in the world, so he cut him off the only way he could think of - by pressing his lips to Peter's and kissing him back. Peter froze for barely a split-second; a slight pause that felt to Jared as though it stretched out into eternity. Then Peter was kissing him back, arms wrapping gently around Jared's body, one leg working its way between his so that Peter was half lying across him. Suddenly, Jared couldn't remember if he'd ever kissed Peter before, or if maybe it was just something that he'd always wanted to do, so instead of trying to remember, he wrapped his good arm around Peter's neck and pulled him closer. The kiss became more passionate, and if Jared thought that Peter touching him had felt incredible, then it had nothing on this. Peter's tongue seemed to be setting fire to the inside of his mouth, the heat pouring into him and pooling inside his stomach, sending out tendrils of desire to every extremity, until Jared felt like it might consume him.

When Peter pulled away, Jared was fairly sure that he whimpered.

'Sorry,' Peter said again. 'I can't...' he ran a hand through his hair and exhaled deeply.

Jared tried to arrange his features into an expression that said he understood why Peter didn't want to kiss him, even though it was impossible. ''S okay... I prob'ly shouldn't have...' He turned his head away so he didn't have to look at Peter's face.

'No! I didn't mean I don't _want_ to... It's just that... Okay, one of us is not exactly _with it_ right now. I just don't want you to think I took advantage of...'

Jared turned back, grabbing hold of Peter's sleeve and pulling him down onto the bed until their faces were only inches apart. 'Peter Bash, if you don't get your hands back on me within the next five seconds, I swear to god you will be looking for someone else to fill the position of best friend! That _'with it'_ enough for you?!'

'Works for me,' Peter replied, his face lighting up.

Peter leant in and kissed Jared. It was firm and passionate and, drifting on a haze of quality opiates, Jared surrendered to it. He let Peter's hands go wherever they wanted, barely even breaking their kiss when Peter's hand slid underneath Jared's sweat pants and wrapped itself tightly around Jared's dick. He hadn't even realised how hard he was until that moment, but suddenly he couldn't think about anything else. 

Jared was fairly sure that Peter didn't _actually_ have magical hands, but at that precise moment, he wouldn't have sworn to it under oath. He would, however, have been prepared to state, hand on whatever text they wanted to put in front of him, that Peter was giving him the best fucking hand job he had ever experienced in his life, and that included the time that Kelly Saunders took him behind the library during the debate team finals in his senior year. 

When Jared came, it was with a cry that he probably should have been embarrassed about, but as Peter held him tightly, softly kissing the side of his head and letting him slowly come down, he couldn't bring himself to care. There were sounds coming out of Jared's mouth; sounds that might have been words of profanity or thanks or just a declaration that Peter was some sort of god, Jared had no clue.

Peter smiled at him. 'Clearly I'm gonna have to do this again. Just so you can tell me properly how awesome I am, obviously.' Jared stared at Peter. He must have managed to register some sort of questioning look in his eyes - eyes that refused to point in the same direction and were now having trouble staying open, because Peter reached out and stroked one hand gently across the cast on Jared's wrist by way of explanation. 'Come on, dude. Six weeks is a long time to be out of action. No man should have to go without for that long...'

Jared wanted to tell Peter that he was the most awesome best friend ever. He wanted to tell him that if he was offering to do _that_ on a regular basis then he might just insist that the cast never be removed. Jared wanted to tell Peter a lot of things, but thankfully, he wasn't winning in the battle to keep his eyes open.

Jared didn't get to say anything else to Peter for the next fourteen hours...

**~~~~~~~~**

**When Peter thought no one was home...**

'Hey!' Jared called, strolling through the door to the Man Cave. Then he remembered that it was after midnight, and added the, 'Assface?' a little more quietly. There was no reply, so Jared guessed that his housemates had already hit the sack. Not that he was really that surprised; it was way beyond late, and Jared was pretty much exhausted anyway.

He wandered into the kitchen to find a Post-It note from Peter on the fridge that read, _'What time do you call this? Your dinner's in the cat!'_ Jared chuckled quietly to himself, opened the fridge and retrieved a cold beer and half a pizza that he couldn't even be bothered to heat up. He flopped onto the couch and aimlessly surfed the music channels with the volume down low while he drank his beer and chewed on rubbery _cheese & pepperoni_ thin crust.

When Jared was done, he kicked the empty pizza box under the table, promising himself that he'd remember to deal with it tomorrow, and stuck his empty beer bottle on the floor. He stretched out on the couch to watch some old classic rock video, wincing a little as his joints popped. Eventually, after a couple of songs, Jared could feel his eyelids starting to droop. It had been a fairly hellish day, starting with an early morning client meeting followed by two internal staff meetings, a working lunch, a competency hearing and finishing with a random discussion about thirteenth century Vietnamese cooking utensils with Stanton. And although Jared was a little disappointed that Peter hadn't waited up so they could talk over their days like they usually did when they were working on separate cases, he knew that falling into bed and sleeping away the next eight hours was going to feel pretty damn good too. 

Dragging himself up off the couch, Jared forced himself to head for his room, knowing that if he didn't, he'd only wake up at five in the morning with a crick in his neck. He was just about to turn the handle and go inside, when he noticed that down the hallway, Peter's door looked like it was open. Jared didn't want to disturb him, and he was fairly sure that if Peter had been awake when Jared got in, then he'd have come and found him, but Jared decided to check on him anyway. 

Through Peter's open door, Jared could see the glow of a TV, and he figured that Peter must have fallen asleep watching a movie or something, although the sound appeared to be turned down. As he got closer, he realised that Peter's viewing choice was something of a more… erotic nature.

'Dude, who falls asleep with porn on?' Jared muttered to himself.

It was only when Jared got far enough down the hallway to see not only the TV but also the foot of Peter's bed, that he realised that Peter actually wasn't asleep; there was movement under the sheet and Jared could see the outline of Peter's arm shifting subtly. Quickly, he took a step back, flattening himself against the wall, an embarrassed blush creeping across his face. Jared knew that he should just turn around and head back to his own room, that he should just leave Peter to whatever it was he was doing (like Jared didn't know _exactly_ what Peter was doing) but somehow, he didn't seem to be able to make his feet move.

After another thirty seconds of standing motionless in the hallway, heat still prickling on his skin, Jared took a step forward and peered cautiously through the doorway. He couldn't be seen from where he was; Peter's head was obscured by the half-open door, but Jared still found himself holding his breath, knowing that the only thing worse than watching your best friend jerk off would be to get caught doing it. He didn't mean to start watching, he just loved the idea of seeing Peter do something so intimate. It wasn't like they had much in the way of boundaries these days anyway, but somehow Jared still felt like he was crossing a line.

_Okay, this is getting weird_ , he told himself. Just as Jared had made a conscious decision to move, to turn back towards his own room and try to forget that the last few minutes had ever happened, Peter kicked off the covers, exposing himself completely.

Jared jammed a fist in his mouth to stop the noise that he was about to make, that would have definitely given him away. And suddenly, all thoughts of going back to his own room seemed to have evaporated; Jared was rooted to the spot, unable to tear his eyes away from Peter's hand as it worked itself slowly up and down his cock. Jared couldn't stop his own body from reacting either, one hand straying down towards the front of his suit pants, which now felt uncomfortably tight.

In the darkness of the hallway, Jared watched as Peter stroked himself firmly, his other hand running across his body, trailing light touches over the exposed skin. Jared swallowed hard, unconsciously reaching for his zipper and sliding a hand into his boxers just to feel the touch of his own hand against his erection. And instead of being even more embarrassed that he was now touching himself as he watched Peter, Jared took a moment to reflect on their slightly fluid approach to each other when it came to the confines of their bedroom activities. 

On one level, Jared knew that drunkenly making out in dark corners at parties, early morning blow jobs in return for promises to get up and make the coffee, and showers taken together in order to get each other off rather than to save water, were not the norm for most guys who still claimed to be just friends. But another part of him wondered how anyone who knew Peter would not want to do any of those things with him. Peter had been the centre of Jared's world for almost a quarter of a century, and although they'd spent years working up to their current relationship, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to function any other way now. Every so often, whenever either of them found someone who merited more than one or two dates, they tried to stick to being purely platonic, but the fact that very few dates ever turned into anything more, was something that Jared though said more than either of them were willing to acknowledge. 

His thoughts were interrupted by a stifled moan from Peter, whose hand was working faster now, his back arching slightly, muscles tensing in his legs and stomach in a way that made Jared's mouth water with lust.

'Oh god... Yes...!' Peter groaned.

Despite the fact that he now had one hand wrapped tightly around his dick and was running the risk of being caught jerking off outside Peter's door, a distant alarm bell started to ring somewhere in Jared's head. He started to wonder if this was the sort of thing that Peter usually did when he thought that no one else was around; the way he'd thrown off the covers, moaning out loud, it seemed kind of... theatrical. Even for Peter.

Once the thought had occurred to him, Jared pulled his hand out of his pants and took a tentative step towards the doorway. Until then, he'd been positioned so that Peter couldn't see him. He moved forward to find that Peter was looking over at the open door and straight at Jared, a huge grin on his face.

'Finally, dude!' Peter said, still grinning. 'What took you so long?' Jared gave Peter a look of confusion. 'Come on - the stimulating viewing, the open door, the floor show? What else does a guy have to do to get laid around here?!'

Jared's face broke into a matching grin. Unbuttoning his vest and letting it drop to the floor, he went into Peter's room, closing the door behind him.

**~~~~~~~~**

**When they had a sudden change of plan...**

'See you back here next week?' Peter asked as he ushered the last of their PlayStation night guests out the door. 'I'm gonna kick your ass sooner or later, so you might as well face the inevitable!'

Jared heard the laughter and called out, ''Night guys,' as the door closed. He started picking up the empty beer bottles that littered the coffee table and took them over to the bar. He was just setting aside what needed to go for recycling when Jared felt Peter come up behind him and slip an arm around his waist. This was quickly joined by another arm across his chest, and the feel of Peter's lips against his neck. Jared leaned helplessly into the touch and guessed that, as he was unlikely to save the world single-handedly, the recycling could probably wait a bit longer...

Just as a hand was starting to work its way temptingly under Jared's t-shirt, Peter stopped suddenly, pulling away. 'Sorry, dude. Are you cool with this?' he asked, tentatively.

Jared gave it the briefest of thoughts before concluding that he really was. In fact, he was pretty sure that whatever Peter had planned for him right about now would be fucking awesome. He nodded, turning around in Peter's arms so his back was against the bar, before quickly pulling himself up onto it. 

Peter moved forward so that he was standing between Jared's legs and he gave his best friend a wicked grin. 'I'll take that as a _yes_ , then,' he said, and leant in to kiss Jared. Jared wrapped both his arms and legs around Peter's body, bringing them even closer together as he kissed Peter back. For a couple of seconds, they were both caught up in a whirlwind of hands in hair and mouths moving against each other. Then Jared felt Peter's hands move underneath his t-shirt, his fingers running over Jared's ribs and ghosting lightly across his nipples in a way that made him draw in a breath as he broke their kiss so Peter could continue to push the fabric up and over Jared's head.

The t-shirt got lost somewhere over the back of the bar and Peter leant in to kiss Jared's neck, working his way down Jared's body, his hands moving to unbutton Jared's jeans. He didn't want Peter to stop, but Jared knew that they needed a change of location before things went much further.

'We should really move this to the bedroom,' Jared said softly, taking hold of Peter's hands and pulling them behind him, bringing Peter close enough so he could kiss him again. 'Remember how pissed Carmen was when she caught us doing this on the couch last time?'

'That's a shame,' Peter murmured between kisses, ''Cause I really want to fuck you across this bar...'

Jared closed his eyes and bit his lip, trying very hard not to moan out loud. Ninety-nine percent of the time, he absolutely loved having housemates. This was the one percent of the time that it really sucked. Peter nipped gently at his ear, a trail of soft bites working their way down Jared's neck, starting to weaken his resolve. Carmen and Pindar were most likely asleep by now, it probably wouldn't take too long if he and Peter were to just...

'Shit!' Jared hissed, as Peter bit his nipple none too gently, and he knew that there was no way they could stay quiet enough to get away with doing this out here. 'Come on, Romeo,' Jared said, reluctantly pushing Peter backwards. 'Bed. Now!'

'If I'm Romeo, doesn't that make you Juliet?' Peter asked with a grin, turning towards his room.

Jared slid off the bar, nearly breaking his neck when he discovered that Peter had already managed to get his jeans undone and they were in danger of falling off and tripping him up. 'Okay then, Prince Charming...' Jared said, following Peter.

'... Which would make you Cinderella!' Peter called back along the hallway.

'Oh, for fu... There must be at least one romantic couple I can reference that doesn't make me the girl?' Jared muttered to himself, as Peter disappeared into his room.

He stuck his head back 'round the bedroom door. 'Batman and Robin?' Peter suggested.

Jared ran the last few steps to Peter's room and skidded to a halt outside the door. Peter was lying on the bed, laughing helplessly. 'You better be prepared to admit that I'm Batman!' Jared said, before jumping on the bed and launching himself at Peter.

'Not a chance!' Peter answered, raising his arms against Jared's assault.

Peter grabbed at Jared's wrists as Jared went for Peter's ribs, his knees gripping Peter's hips as tight as he could. There was a brief altercation as they both reverted to being fourteen again; elbows and knees being aimed at anything within reach. At some point between Jared kicking Peter in the shins and Peter getting Jared pinned on his back, they remembered that they were actually grown-ups, and the fighting turned into foreplay. Although Jared wasn't above biting in either case...

Jared pushed his hands under Peter's t-shirt, kissing him deeply and shoving the material up until Peter got the hint, breaking their kiss to drag the t-shirt over his head and throw it on the floor. Peter's skin was warm to Jared's touch; he ran his hands over Peter's back as they kissed, one of Peter's hands working its way between their bodies to fumble with the buttons on Jared's jeans. 

He grinned at how impatient Peter got when he was horny. 'I think you're gonna have to move,' Jared managed to get out between kisses, 'Unless you plan on stripping me by osmosis?'

'I planned on stripping you across the bar, but you had to go and be a prude about it...'

Jared gave Peter a half-hearted kick and reluctantly he rolled off Jared so they could lose the rest of their clothes. 'What can I say? I just think that two consenting adults who are trying to keep their casual sex a secret from their housemates don't need to be playing to an audience. But I'm old fashioned that way!'

Peter laughed at him and Jared couldn't resist watching Peter as he stripped off, feeling his cock responding unconsciously to Peter's nakedness. Tonight might have been unplanned, but Jared's body was clearly telling him that it definitely wasn't unwanted.

Back in Peter's arms, Jared let himself be pressed into the mattress, Peter's body covering his as they kissed deeply, rocking together in a way they were barely conscious of. He moaned lightly when Peter kissed his throat, working his way down to suck gently on Jared's collarbone, his hands fisted in Jared's hair. Jared moved slowly against Peter's hip, enjoying the gentle friction and trying hard not to make too much noise - Peter didn't need to know how much Jared wanted him any more than was already obvious! The light kisses that Peter was placing across his chest and stomach were working their way down towards his cock. Jared sucked in a sharp breath when Peter licked unexpectedly along its length.

'Fuck! Not yet, please…' Jared had to concede, knowing he'd be done in a matter of minutes if Peter carried on. For his part, Peter just grinned like he'd won some sort of prize, working his way back up Jared's body until they could kiss each other gently. And then not so gently; hands touching wherever they could reach, mouths moving against warm skin, lips murmuring sounds of desire that were barely heard before they were lost again.

Somewhere along the way, Jared got turned over onto his front. Peter's breath was hot against the back of his neck and Jared could feel him pressing up against his ass. He stretched one arm out towards the drawer at the side of Peter's bed but he couldn't reach and was left making flailing motions that made Peter laugh softly. 

'Hang on a second.' Peter dropped a kiss on Jared's shoulder and moved over on the bed, pulling open the drawer and grabbing some lube, which he tossed carelessly behind him, narrowly missing Jared's head.

'Hey, watch it!' Jared laughed and picked up the bottle. ' _'Warming Cinnamon'_ ,' he read off the label, 'Mmm, kinky…'

Peter just turned back towards Jared and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively before returning to his search for a condom. Which was taking a while. In fact, it sounded as though Peter was using the time to reorganise his bedside drawer.

'Some time this week would be nice,' Jared reminded him, 'Otherwise I'm gonna have to start without you...' Laying on his side, he propped am arm under his head, one hand curled lazily around his dick.

'Hang on a minute, will you? I'm just...' Peter looked over his shoulder at Jared and caught sight of what he was doing. 'Oh, fuck...' he breathed, watching Jared with eyes that were slightly glazed.

'Um, Peter?' Jared nodded towards the bedside cabinet, trying to get him back on task.

'Oh, yeah...' There was more shuffling, and then, 'Shit!' Peter banged the drawer closed in frustration. 'I've run out.' He rolled over and looked pointedly at Jared.

'And?' Jared asked.

'And... You just gotta go and get one from your room,' Peter replied, like it should have been obvious.

'I don't _'just gotta'_ do anything...'

'Really? You think _now_ is the time to be quoting 'Dirty Dancing'?' Jared couldn't help laughing out loud at Peter's epic eye-roll. 'Fine, I'll go.'

'Yeah you will!' Jared called after him as Peter flung open the door and turned down the corridor, not seeming to care that he was stark naked.

He was back in less than thirty seconds. 'How can you be out too?!' Peter asked, incredulously. 

Jared screwed his face up at the realisation that he hadn't bought any in a while, and probably used the last one the other week with... Well, it hardly mattered now. 'You could always ask...'

'No way,' Peter said, resolutely. 'I am _not_ knocking on Carmen's door and waking her up, just to ask if she's got a spare condom. I'm not a teenager anymore. Besides, she knows we didn't have any women over tonight - I mean, could we make it any more obvious?' 

'Yeah, we could have gone with your first plan and done it on the bar!'

'You know what I mean.'

Jared _did_ know what Peter meant. It was one thing to get caught in the heat of the moment. It was another thing entirely to announce it beforehand! 'Well, there has to be one around here somewhere. Start looking.'

For the next few minutes, Peter and Jared searched pockets, drawers, cupboards, shelves and every other conceivable place in the Man Cave - neither of them being too mindful of their nudity now - but they both came up empty handed.

'Seriously?' Jared said in disbelief. 'The number of hook-ups that happen in this place and _no one_ managed to leave a condom behind?'

'Either our friends are extremely considerate about tidying up after themselves, or they have a shocking attitude towards safe sex,' Peter agreed. They both collapsed on the bed, side by side, staring at the ceiling. 'Wow,' Peter said after a moment's silence, 'Talk about being all revved up with no place to go...'

Jared rolled over towards Peter and looked appreciatively at his best friend spread out on the bed. It would be a real shame to let that go to waste, Jared thought. 'I guess we could always do it the old fashioned way?' he suggested.

Peter turned on his side and grinned knowingly at Jared. 'Okay - I'll get out an old copy of Penthouse and you can go bright red and disappear into the bathroom!'

'You knew about that?' Jared cried, feeling a blush on his cheeks again.

'Jared, you took the pillow with you!'

Laughing, Peter pulled Jared into his arms, before Jared had the chance to grab another pillow to smack him with, and kissed him softly. As Peter's fingers stroked through his hair, Jared decided that he'd let Peter make fun of him just this once. The kiss became more passionate and Jared couldn't help but reach for Peter, wrapping one hand around him as Peter did the same, finding a rhythm and knowing that, like everything else he and Peter did together, it was going to feel amazing. 

Jared wasn't sure that they'd ever done anything quite like this before, but lying face to face on the bed, watching look of pleasure on the other's face as they touched, they got a little lost in each other. So much so, that they didn't even notice the condom and the Post-It note that Carmen shoved under their door...

_"Can you please stop turning the place upside down - some of us are trying to sleep... P.S. If you make Jared scream like a girl again, I swear that I will kill both of you!"_

**~~~~END~~~~**


End file.
